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                         L'CHAIM - ISSUE # 1305
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                 Lubavitch Youth Organization - L.Y.O.
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             THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION FOR EVERY JEWISH PERSON
   Dedicated to the memory of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Schneerson N.E.
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        January 17, 2014         Yisro           16 Shevat, 5774
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                           The Woman's Voice

                            by Malka Touger

In Jewish teachings, and particularly in the Kabala, certain qualities
of character are described as masculine and others as feminine. These
definitions are not mutually exclusive. On the contrary, our character
traits are interrelated.

Nevertheless, though every masculine trait has within it a feminine
dimension, and every feminine trait has a masculine side, the basic
concept remains that there exist feminine and masculine ways of thinking
and feeling.

Which traits are defined as feminine? Our Sages tell us  that women are
more richly endowed with bina than men. Generally, bina is translated as
"understanding."

More particularly, it refers to one's ability to interlock ideas and
connect them, thereby developing a concept in all its particulars.

But more important than the fact that the faculty of bina allows us to
see all the pieces of a puzzle, bina brings these pieces close to our
attention and enables us to identify with them.

This feminine approach to thinking is becoming increasingly important in
our lives today. The intelligence revolution exposes us to an
ever-surging sea of information. Formidable waves of data come upon us
cold and impersonal, and the constant and ever-more-urgent need to
process it on a day-to-day basis, dwarfs our sense of self. We all feel
the need to balance the technological advances that have become part of
our lives, with growth on the human side.

And this is where a woman's added dimension of bina is most significant.
It gives a woman a greater tendency toward empathy and what sociologists
call "connected knowledge."

A woman arrives at knowledge by establishing a personal bond with the
idea she wants to discover; she makes it part of herself, instead of
treating it as merely an abstract construct.

All around us, we see people looking for this type of change.

Our Sages have told us that the time before the coming of Moshiach will
be a time of paradox. On the one hand, we will be able to perceive a
glimmer of the future light. On the other hand, this era will be
weighted down by a darkness so palpable that it will prevent the light
from being properly perceived.

Our Prophets allude to this state by referring to the struggles which
will precede the Redemption as the birthpangs of Mashiach.

All women who have given birth will agree that the exhilaration of
bringing new life into the world dwarfs the intensity of the pain,
however great. The birth itself is the most powerful dimension of the
entire experience, and the most lasting.

The changes taking place throughout our society on both the global and
the individual planes point to a transition of awesome scope. As in the
experience of giving birth, women focus on the ultimate goal of this
transition, the coming of the Redemption, and are not overwhelmed by the
magnitude of the challenges this transition presents. Moreover, a
woman's sense of forevision enables her to bring the awareness of the
Redemption into her life today. For the essence of the Era of the
Redemption is the fusion of the material and the spiritual - that we do
not see the world as an independent physical entity, but appreciate its
inner spiritual content.

And such an approach is natural for a woman.

When speaking of the Jewish people at the time of the Redemption, the
Prophet Ezekiel says:  "I will remove the heart of stone from their
flesh, and give them a heart of flesh." What the prophet is saying is
that a sensitive heart, a heart that responds to what the mind knows, is
the key to the change in our feelings that will take place in the Era of
the Redemption.

We do not have to wait for the Redemption to begin developing such
sensitivity. We can begin removing the hardness from our hearts already.
Indeed, living with the Redemption - anticipating its effects by
sensitizing our lives right now - serves as a catalyst that will make
the Redemption a foreseeable and manifest reality.

     From A Partner in the Dynamic of Creation by Sichos in English

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           LIVING WITH THE REBBE  -  THE WEEKLY TORAH PORTION
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The revelation at Sinai infused the Jewish people with the potential of
refining the world through the Torah, preparing it to be a dwelling
place for G-d. This event is described in our Torah portion of Yitro.

The following week's portion, Mishpatim, introduces the practical laws
that govern daily life and that invest the world with spirituality.
Mishpatim begins: "These are the laws that you will set before [the
Children of Israel]. If you buy a Jewish bondman...."

The institution of human servitude discussed in the Torah mirrors the
divine service of man, as he refines his materiality and elevates the
world around him by observing the Torah and its commandments:  "For the
Children of Israel are servants unto Me."

In the following weekly portion, Teruma, G-d expresses His desire for a
dwelling place on earth:  "They will make Me a Sanctuary and I will
dwell among them," indicating that the Sanctuary the Jews were to build
would create a "place" where G-d's Presence could be manifest.

As we read through these three portions, with their respective themes -
a) Giving the Torah, b) enumerating its laws to live by, and c) the
construction of the Sanctuary - a progression becomes evident.

First the requisite power is bestowed from Above; then one begins to
tackle his daily tasks like a dutiful bondman; and ultimately one finds
that he has built a Sanctuary, the desired dwelling place on earth for
one's Master in heaven.

More specifically: The Giving of the Torah represents education in
Torah; the servant state signifies diligence in our divine service; and
the Sanctuary represents the successful completion of all the efforts
expended to transform the whole world (and our individual segments
within it) into a dwelling place for G-d.

In this vital mission of executing G-d's plan for the world, by
transforming it into a Divine Home, Jewish women and girls have been
assigned a primary share. The Torah itself calls upon women to assume
their leading roles in these three basic aspects of Judaism enumerated
above - Torah education, divine service, and the construction of a
dwelling place for G-d:

Before Giving the Torah, G-d directed Moses to speak first to the women:
"Thus you will say to the House of Jacob, and tell the Israelites."
Rashi explains that "House of Jacob" refers to the women. The women,
then, were the first to receive the tidings of the preciousness of the
Torah, and the directives on how to prepare themselves and their
children to receive it.

In the area of the servitude of Jewish bondmen, the category of divine
service represented in the Torah by the Jewish maidservant (as explained
in the Zohar) is the highest.

Describing the contributions brought to Moses for the construction of
the Sanctuary, the Torah writes, "The men accompanied the women." Here,
too, the women were followed by the men.

The relationship between these three points is obvious: the women were
first to receive the Torah and to offer their precious objects for the
Sanctuary, because they were also first in educating their children and
in making each of their respective homes a Sanctuary.

    From a talk of the Rebbe, Shabbat Mevarchim Adar I, 5746 (1986)

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                             SLICE OF LIFE
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                           For These I Prayed
                            by Mina Richler

It's their first time and they are so proud.

One at a time, they have their special moment.

She welcomes the holiday spirit, she covers her eyes and swishes back
and forth in her pretty pink dress. Pudgy little fingers cover her face.

She recites the blessing. So quiet but so loud and ever so proud.

She welcomes in Rosh Hashana - the New Year.

She knows that she can pray for whatever she wants.

And when she does, she welcomes the New Year and exclaims, "Good Yom
Tov!" and gives her beaming Mommy a kiss.

And then her sister does the same. With so much pride. We all embrace.

My daughters have turned three. They have joined the legacy of Jewish
girls and women all over the world lighting Shabbat and Yom Tov
(holiday)candles, ushering in this New Year with blessings and light.

I love Shabbat candles. I love the cessation of time, the contrast of
pre-Shabbat chaos to the silent peaceful solitude. I take joy in the
Universal unity of doing what thousands of other women and girls are
doing in their homes at this time - lighting Shabbat candles. We are all
connected in prayer and Feminine Jewish Pride.

Lighting Shabbat candles took on more meaning for me through the ages.
As a three-year-old, it meant being more like Mommy. As a young mature
12-year-old Bat Mitzva girl, it was one of  the defining
Jewish-womanhood factors. As a young bride, I looked forward to lighting
an additional candle. And after I got married, I appreciated Shabbat
candle lighting as a special "Et ratzon - A Time of Desire," a time to
pray for whatever ones heart desires.

I prayed for many things throughout my life.

We all do.

Good health. Happiness. Success. Marital harmony. Sustenance.

We pray for ourselves. We pray for others.

We pray for our friends, for their families, for their health, and for
G-d to ease their pain.

And then most importantly, we pray for children.

I remember this exact time four years ago:

It was almost Yom Kippur. It was my husband's 25th birthday. And it was
one of the scariest days in my life.

It was a day I prayed hard. For everything I had and everything I'd ever
want to have.

For my life.

And for children.

It was a day and a night when a board of specialists sat down for an
emergency consultation in Lutheran Medical Hospital and gave me three
choices, one worse than another: Surgery with risk of bleeding out; a
Methotrexate injection\chemo drug; the worst case scenario, a
hysterectomy -  which was not an option for me. At all.

At the time, I was misdiagnosed as carrying a large fibroid, a
non-cancerous tumor, in my uterus and scheduled for surgery in November.
However, I had miscarried a baby with an extra set of chromosomes at the
beginning of my 18th week 2 months prior, and my blood was still
carrying HCG levels, pregnancy hormones. I was constantly in the
emergency room hemorrhaging, and that was after losing 50% of my blood
during the initial d & c. The complex vessels surrounding this
"fibroid," which ultimately was a twin hydatidiform mole, a very rare
complication, combined with the softening of the uterus due to HCG
levels, made this surgery a very risky procedure.  But that was our best
option, and so we prayed.

Ultimately, G-d heard our prayers.

I came out of surgery. Every part of my body hurt. I was bruised from
the IVs and my throat ached from the oxygen tubes.  Pain took on a whole
new definition.

Yes, the recovery was long. And painful. I was not able to fast that Yom
Kippur and it hurt my heart to do what I had to do.

But I never made it to the November surgery to remove what they thought
was a fibroid. Thank G-d, on Simchat Torah, the mass was expelled
naturally, miraculously, and was sent for pathological testing.

There was no trophoblastic tissue and within a year, preferably two, I
would be allowed to try to have children again. Four months from the
time I was told, "I'm sorry, there is no heartbeat," all the
complications of this rare partial twin pregnancy cleared up. I was
healthy again.

I think one of the biggest miracles was that my doctor understood my
emotional need over the  physical risk and gave me the green light to
start fertility treatment just a few months later.

My pregnancy was not smooth. I was on bed-rest  in a state of threatened
abortion until my twentieth week. I was far from friends and family and
was often alone on the couch just trying not to be terrified. But
sometimes, I was so scared to lose what I had, I would just cry.

But then I'd remember all that I had gone through.

And I knew that it was not for nothing.

I recalled the week before going into surgery.

It was the day before Rosh Hashana.

I had gone with my husband Avi to the Ohel (the Lubavitcher Rebbe's
resting place) to specifically ask for "just a healthy child or two.
It's so easy for G-d, just please bless us...we will be good parents, we
will raise them to be a source of nachas (pride), I promise...."

If any of you have ever gone through a challenge, you know what it's
like. You put on a brave face to the world. You smile. You dance at
weddings and at the same time, try not to cry. You go on vacations, even
though your doctor tells you not to, because you know you need it more
than anything. You start new hobbies and try new things. but then,
sometimes, the thing you need, the thing you are praying for, the thing
your heart wants, it starts to hurt and you just can't stop crying.

You hope that happens when no one can see you.

For me it happened when I was at the Ohel, praying for children.

I remember my father walking in at five in the morning. I was still in
the Chabad House at the Ohel, writing my letter to the Rebbe. And I just
wanted to hide my red face and puffy eyes.

It was then that I looked up at  the video screen playing in the room
where I was writing my letter. I looked up and saw the Rebbe's face. He
was addressing a crowd of Shluchot - Jewish women who had gone out to
all corners of the world to do outreach and in the clearest of voices,
he blessed them with the blessing of children.

I had my comfort and I had my promise.

It was when I was at the Shluchot Convention  (annual conference of
Chabad Women emissaries  that takes place on 22 Shevat, the anniversary
of the passing of Rebbetzin Chaya Mussia Schneerson, wife of the
Lubavitcher Rebbe), that I found out that I was pregnant. With twins. It
was then that I made my promise to name my daughter after the Rebbe's
wife, if it would be a girl.

It was exactly a year later from that eve of Rosh Hashana, that day that
I asked from the deepest depths of my heart for a blessing for a child
or two, that I went into labor.

And finally, on the second night of Rosh Hashana, my world became
complete; my girls were born.

I kept my promise as well and named my first daughter, Shaina Mussia,
for the Rebbetzin.*

My girls grew. They have watched me light Shabbat candles. I prayed for
them each week.

Three years came and went.

How many times I've stood by the candles and prayed for children, I
cannot count.

I still pray for my children. And I pray for all my friends who need to
be blessed with children. I do not forget your pain.

My girls light candles now. They are proud. I tell them they can ask G-d
for whatever they want.

Maybe they pray for lollipops. Or new dolls. No more nightmares. More
Mommy time. A baby sister. A trip to the museum. I will never really
know.

But for a child, the most important things is to know that they have a
relationship with G-d and know that they can ask for whatever they want.

So encourage your child to pray and light those candles.

You will bring light into G-d's world and G-d will illuminate yours too.

The miracle of children is not measured by how quickly or how
not-so-quickly your first is born. Every child is a miracle. Yet, for
some, this miracle takes some more time and effort.

I share my story not to overload anyone with medical details, but to
share some sprinklings of hope. And to express my unlimited gratitude to
G-d for bringing me to where I am today.

* Being that my mother-in-law's name is Chaya Sara and we have the
tradition not to carry over the name of a living grandparent, we named
our daughter Shaina Mussia.

    Rabbi Avi and Mina Richler direct Chabad of Gloucester County, in
    New Jersey.

*********************************************************************
                            THE REBBE WRITES
*********************************************************************
        Continued from last week from a transcript of questions
          to and answers of the Rebbe in 1952, with thanks to
                    www.NissanMindelPublications.com


Q: Is the standard of learning for girls the same as for boys?

A: No. The reason for this is not that girls lack the qualifications to
elevate themselves to that standard of knowledge. It is that G-d awarded
them a more important and higher responsibility. This greater task and
obligation is the preparation of the future generation, the education of
our young boys and girls in the true Jewish spirit. It is the mother in
particular who the Torah obligated to fulfill this highly important
task. To enable them to fulfill it to the fullest extent the Torah
exempted them from the task of learning and fulfilling certain Mitzvos
[commandments].


Q: If the actual fulfillment of the commandment is more important than
the knowledge behind it, and therefore one should do and carry out the
laws even if he lacks the explanation, we are living a life of blind
faith.

A: When a child is hungry and wants to eat immediately, his mother does
not explain to him all the processes the food goes through, or how the
oven functions, rather she gives him the food immediately so to stop his
hunger and then she can proceed in explaining the methods the food is
prepared. Or when a doctor prescribes a medicine he doesn't explain the
contents or the way it was prepared. The doctor gives the patient the
medicine that is to cure him, although he lacks the knowledge of
medicine. Just as one needs food for his physical life, so does one need
food for his spiritual life. The spiritual food is the commandments and
obligations prescribed in the Torah. One must take the food although he
lacks the explanation of them, in order to survive (spiritually). After
fulfilling them if he still desires to have the knowledge can he go
about to attain it.


Q: Some people would feel that being a good Jew does not necessarily
mean adhering to the precepts of Torah. They feel they could be good
Jews without fulfilling the Mitzvos. How could this be explained to
them?

A: When a doctor prescribes a medicine and the patient is reluctant and
stubborn about taking it, the doctor, if he is honest, would not lead
him astray and tell his patient to take something else in its place that
would not have the same affect. Instead, he would try to explain the
patient the necessity of taking the medicine and relinquish the patient
until he has exhausted all means of convincing him. Or, if one is in a
coma and it is difficult to revive him a good friend would not give up
on his task of trying to awaken him. He would do his utmost to help this
individual, even if it means to hurt him for his benefit. If necessary
he would give him shock treatments if he knows the patient will revive.


Q: Why do we need ceremonies? Aren't they a burden upon a person?

A: We have already explained that the Almighty G-D is the perfect
goodness. He would not create a thing that would be a burden for the
people. It is only the people who consider it a burden. For, we are all
limited to a certain degree, our mind and understanding is also limited
which makes it impossible for us to grasp certain mitzvos to their
fullest extent. Therefore, our intellect has not extended that far to
grasp the truthfulness of the commandments and the necessity of
performing the prescribed ceremonies. However, being Almighty G-d
commanded us to do such, it is surely a privilege and not a burden.


Q: Are there any books in English explaining more (about) Chassidus and
Chassidim?

A: At the present there aren't any which would give you the necessary
knowledge. However, it would be a good idea if some of your group would
volunteer to translate some of the Chassidic writings. I would be very
grateful for that, and I would do my utmost in helping you succeed in
that work. It is therefore my suggestion that those of you, including
the girls, who are capable of doing this work, form the committee and we
could start on this as soon as possible.


May I ask a question. How many of you present put on Teffilin daily? I
don't mean to mention any specific names. The purpose of my question is
to awaken those of you that have not as yet started to take upon
yourself to start putting them on daily.

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                        A WORD FROM THE DIRECTOR
                         Rabbi Shmuel M. Butman
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This coming Thursday is the twenty-sixth yartzeit of Rebbetzin Chaya
Mushka Schneerson, of blessed memory, wife of the Lubavitcher Rebbe and
daughter of the Previous Rebbe. Born in the Russian village of
Babinovitch (a small shtetl near Lubavitch) in 1901, she played an
integral role in both her father's and husband's affairs throughout her
life. And yet, she deliberately chose to function out of the limelight.
Extremely modest, royal in bearing and above all kindly, Rebbetzin Chaya
Mushka was the embodiment of Jewish womanhood and an exceptional role
model for Jewish women and girls.

A few years after her passing, in a public address on the anniversary of
her passing, the Rebbe spoke about the special mission all Jewish woman
have been entrusted with. The function of every Jew - man, woman and
child - is to "make a dwelling place for G-d" on earth. But the goal of
the Jewish woman is to take this one step further, and adorn G-d's abode
on the physical plane so that it is "lovely" and appointed with "fine
furnishings."

In particular, the Jewish woman fulfills her role of "spiritual
decorator" through the three special mitzvot G-d has given her to
implement in her private home: maintaining the kashrut of her kitchen,
keeping the laws of Family Purity, and lighting candles on Shabbat on
Yom Tov, together with her daughters. (The Rebbe specified that young
girls should light first, so that their mothers can assist them if
necessary.)

The Rebbe also called on women to renew their commitment to the Jewish
education of their children, from the earliest age on. When a Jewish
mother sings a lullaby to her baby about how the Torah is "the best, the
sweetest, and the most beautiful" thing in the world, it instills a deep
love and appreciation for Torah that lasts a lifetime.

The main point during these last few moments of exile, the Rebbe
stressed, is to recognize the great merit and power Jewish women and
girls have to bring about the Final Redemption, may it happen at once.

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                          THOUGHTS THAT COUNT
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And all the people answered together and said, "All that G-d has spoken
we will do." (Exod. 19:8)

Instead of each individual answering, "I will do," the Jews all
responded together, "We will do." Each individual Jew not only took upon
himself to observe the Torah, but to be responsible for other Jews doing
so.

                                                  (Chidushei HaRim)

                                *  *  *


I am the L-rd (Havaya) your G-d (Elokecha) Who took you out of the land
of Egypt (Ex. 20:2)

Havaya, the un-utterable four-letter name of G-d, refers to an aspect of
G-dliness that is above nature, implying past, present and future.
Elokecha (Elokim), the numerical equivalent of which is the same as
hateva (nature), alludes to G-dliness as it is enclothed in the natural
order. "The L-rd your G-d" teaches that the essence of every Jew is also
super-natural, endowed with the strength to overcome all obstacles and
limitations imposed by nature.

              (The Previous Rebbe, Sefer HaMaamarim Tav-Shin-Zayin)

                                *  *  *


You shall not covet (Ex. 20:17)

How can a person prevent himself from desiring something that is truly
desirable? The following analogy is given: The poor peasant doesn't
entertain the notion of marrying the king's daughter; not even in his
heart of hearts does he dream of being her husband. The very idea is
absurd, outside the realm of what is possible. Similarly, when we
realize that another person's possessions have nothing to do with us,
coveting them becomes impossible.

                                                         (Ibn Ezra)

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                            IT ONCE HAPPENED
*********************************************************************
The Baal Shem Tov sat under warm, fur blankets in his carriage as it
sped down the dirt road toward the town of Satnov. As the carriage
neared the town the strange light emanating from there became brighter
and brighter. It was not the light of a fire, nor any natural
phenomenon, but a spiritual light discernable to the Baal Shem Tov
alone.

When the Baal Shem Tov entered the suburbs of Satnov he was greeted by a
great many people who crowded around to see the famous Rebbe. After a
short while he addressed himself to the crowd: "Do you know that a great
tzadeket lives among you - a tzadeket - truly righteous woman, whose
light I was able to perceive even from afar."

"Of course, we know her. You are talking about the tzadeket, Rivka. She
is known all around these parts for her piety and good deeds."

The Baal Shem Tov was very interested in hearing more about this unusual
woman and even expressed his wish to meet her.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that," replied one townsman with a
smile. "She'll be here soon enough to see you. You see, Rivka will be
here to ask you for a donation for the upkeep of needy families. She
won't miss this opportunity."

He was right, for not an hour had passed before Rivka appeared before
the Baal Shem Tov, asking for a donation. "Would the esteemed rabbi be
good enough to contribute something for poor families?" she asked.

"Of course," replied the Baal Shem Tov as he handed her a small coin.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I can't accept such a small amount," she said,
peering down at the copper coin. "You must have misunderstood me. You
see, I am collecting for people who are poverty stricken and ill. They
need expensive medicines and nourishing food. I need much more than
that."

The Baal Shem Tov responded by giving her a few more small coins. She
looked at him sternly and said in a strong voice, "No, this is still not
enough. I can't accept anything less than 40 rubles."

The Baal Shem Tov was very impressed with Rivka, but he pretended to be
angry. "What a chutzpa! Who are you to demand such a huge sum? Do you
imagine that you are the treasurer of the whole town? Why, I wouldn't be
surprised if you pocketed three-quarters of the money!"

Rivka was not intimidated and stood as before with her hand out in
expectation of receiving the money. The Baal Shem Tov didn't disappoint
her. With 40 rubles in her hand, the woman finally went on her way.

That night Rivka again appeared before the Baal Shem Tov with a request.
But this time it was not money that she wanted. Instead, she asked for
the tzadik's prayers. "Please, Rebbe, pray for the town doctor who is
very ill."

"For that no-good sinner! Why the world would be a better place without
the likes of him," replied the Baal Shem Tov, hoping to hear Rivka
defend the doctor.

"Oh, no," countered Rivka. "First of all, no one has seen him in the act
of sinning, and secondly, he is completely ignorant of the severity of
his sins. I'm sure that if he understood what he was doing, he would
stop immediately."

The Baal Shem Tov was satisfied with that answer, for he knew that the
man's death had been demanded by the Celestial Court, and the good
defense Rivka had just given was necessary to stay the decree. Not long
after, the doctor recovered.

The townspeople told many stories about Rivka. Once, her two grown sons
decided they should interrupt their Torah studies to come to visit their
mother for a Shabbat. But Rivka's greatest pleasure was in the knowledge
that her sons were devoting themselves to the study of Torah, and she
didn't wish them to be interrupted from their holy pursuit.

On the day before Shabbat she called her beloved sons to her. "I'm going
to ask you to do something for me, and I want you to promise to do as I
say."

They looked at her in surprise and answered, "Mother, why do you imagine
we wouldn't? We will certainly do whatever you wish."

"In that case, I want you to go back to your yeshiva now, before
Shabbat. I know it may sound strange, but you will do me more honor by
spending your precious time in Torah study."

"But, mother, we haven't seen you for so long, and we came especially to
visit."

"My sons, try to understand: Seeing you gives me great nachas, but I'm
willing to wait for my reward in the World of Truth. Go back and
continue your learning, so as not to waste a single precious moment. I
have already prepared a carriage for you, packed with the special foods
you love for the holy Shabbat. Go safely and prepare for me the eternal
nachas which awaits me in the World of Truth." With that, Rivka blessed
her beloved sons and sent them on their way.

*********************************************************************
                            MOSHIACH MATTERS
*********************************************************************
The Arizal, famed Kabalist Rabbi Yitzchak Luria (1534-1572) writes in
Likkutim, Shemot 3:4, "Most of the men in our generation are ruled by
their wives - especially Torah scholars." This emphasizes the
responsibility placed upon women - in order for the Torah scholars to be
proper, the women must also be proper, since the conduct of the men
depends on them. And, as discussed previously, it is in the merit of the
women that the redemption will come.

             (The Lubavitcher Rebbe, Torat Menachem, 5712, pg. 308)

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                END OF TEXT - L'CHAIM 1305 - Yisro 5774
*********************************************************************